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The below graph illustrates the percentage of individual genders in New Zealand who holds the different types of Qualification in 2005.

The below graph illustrates the percentage of individual genders in New Zealand who holds the different types of Qualification in 2005. aj3m
The below graph illustrates the percentage of individual genders in New Zealand who holds the different types of Qualification in 2005. Overall, it is clear that more Males holding the Trade Certificate almost nine times that of Females. They also have the highest scores in higher education like Postgraduate Diploma and Masters. In contrast to this, the Females Qualifications are more in Diploma and Undergraduate Degree. In Trade Certificate the percentage of males is about 88, and the Females are below 15. Furthermore, the Tertiary Qualification of the males is also high in Postgraduate Diploma and Masters of about 62% and 75%. When compared to males the Females are only higher in two Tertiary Qualifications. One of them is Diploma Program and the other one is Undergraduate Degree. The percentage in these programs are about 63 and 56. Females are more interested in undergraduate qualification only. While, in Postgraduate Diploma they are about 38% and in masters 26% of them are participated.
The below graph illustrates the percentage of individual genders in New Zealand who holds the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
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Qualification
in 2005.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Males
holding the Trade Certificate almost nine times that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Females
. They
also
have the highest scores in higher education like Postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diploma
and Masters.
In contrast
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Qualifications
are more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diploma
and Undergraduate Degree.

In Trade Certificate the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
is about 88, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Females
are below 15.
Furthermore
, the Tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Qualification
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
is
also
high in Postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diploma
and Masters of about 62% and 75%.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Females
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
higher in two Tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Qualifications
. One of them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diploma
Program and the other one is Undergraduate Degree. The percentage in these programs are about 63 and 56.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Females
are more interested in undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. While, in Postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Diploma
they are about 38% and in masters 26% of them
are participated
.

IELTS academic The below graph illustrates the percentage of individual genders in New Zealand who holds the different types of Qualification in 2005.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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