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The diagram below shows the process of manufacturing ceramic pots

The diagram illustrates how pottery pots can be manufactured. Overall, there are more than ten distinct stages in this process, from the initial collection of raw material to the eventual production of pots colour firing. At the first stage, clay is exploited from the ground by a digger before being sent to the factory by the dump truck. Once it has been transported, the clay will be crushed several times to become finer clay. After which it is transported to a cylindrical tank where it is mixed with water. The moistened clay is thereafter pumped into moulds, and leave it for 4-6 hours. As soon as it dries, the clay ceramic assembles. Following that, pots are delivered to the kiln at 1000 degrees celsius. At this phase of the cycle, colors are added, and the pots are then terminated for the second time in another furnace to turn out to be completely formed, shaded clay pots.
The diagram illustrates how pottery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
can
be manufactured
.

Overall
, there are more than ten distinct stages in this process, from the initial collection of raw material to the eventual production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
Possible spelling mistake. ‘colour’ is British English.
colour
firing.

At the
first
stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
is exploited
from the ground by a digger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the factory by the dump truck. Once it has
been transported
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
will
be crushed
several times to become finer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
which it
is transported
to a cylindrical tank where it
is mixed
with water. The moistened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
is thereafter pumped into
Possible spelling mistake. ‘moulds’ is British English.
moulds
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it for 4-6 hours. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as it dries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
ceramic assembles.

Following that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
are delivered
to the kiln at 1000 degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
. At this phase of the cycle, colors are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
are then terminated for the second time in another furnace to turn out to be completely formed, shaded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pots
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process of manufacturing ceramic pots

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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