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The diagram below shows the life cycle of the silkworm and the stage in the production of silk cloth.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the silkworm and the stage in the production of silk cloth. YoEQ
The pictorial representation depicts the life cycle of silkworm and also show the process of manufacturing silk cloth. Focusing on the details of the life cycle, it is evident that the cycle begins when an adult moth lays eggs on the mulberry leaves. From these eggs, silkworm larvae are generated after 10 days. For the next 4-6 weeks the larvae survive on the mulberry for food. In the next stage, the larvae create silk thread and keep winding these threads around themselves for another 3-8 days. As a result, the cocoons are formed. The cocoon stage lasts for around 16 days and an adult moth appears from it. With time, the moth matures and the life cycle repeats. For cloth production, the lifecycle is arrested at the cocoon stage. Healthy, good-quality cocoons are selected. These are boiled in water at a particular temperature for some predecided time. Then, the threads are unwound from the boiled cocoons and they can be as long as 300-900m. These threads are either twisted, weaved, and then dyed to twisted dyed and later taken for weaving. The process can be repeated as per the demand. Overall, the lifecycle of silkworms has 5 stages and the production of silk cloth is a methodical process with defined steps.
The pictorial representation depicts the life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
of silkworm and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the process of manufacturing silk cloth.

Focusing on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the life
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cycle
, it is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
when an adult moth lays eggs on the mulberry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
. From these eggs, silkworm larvae
are generated
after 10 days. For the
next
4-6 weeks the larvae survive on the mulberry for food. In the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, the larvae create silk
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thread
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
winding these threads around themselves for another 3-8 days.
As a result
, the
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cocoons
are formed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
lasts for around 16 days and an adult moth appears from it. With time, the moth matures and the life
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cycle
repeats.

For cloth production, the lifecycle
is arrested
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
. Healthy,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cocoons
are selected
. These
are boiled
in water at a particular temperature for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
predecided
time. Then, the threads are unwound from the boiled
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cocoons and
they can be as long as 300
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "-900 m"
-900m
. These threads are either twisted, weaved, and then dyed to twisted dyed and later taken for weaving. The process can
be repeated
as per the demand.

Overall
, the lifecycle of silkworms has 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
and the production of silk cloth is a methodical process with defined steps.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the life cycle of the silkworm and the stage in the production of silk cloth.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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