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The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish. lPM9
The diagram shows the complete life cycle of salmon fish from egg phase to adult phase. Overall, there are 7 stages of salmon fish growing form egg to adult. The importance of this fish is, it takes birth in the river and migrates to the ocean for period of it's life time and again come back to the river at the end phase of it's life. In this essay, i'm concentrating on the different phases of salmon's life. Primary stage is the incubation period which occurs in the river. After few hours, it enters into the secondary stage of "emergence", this phase comprises of fish hatching fro the egg. The third phase is "Fresh water rearing", by taking the nutrients of the river water, fish will start to grow. The fourth and important stage is "Estuary Rearing", this phase is important becasue fish will migrate from the river to the ocean. This transition is called as "ESTUARY". After entering into the ocean water, salamon will migrate to rearing areas in the fifth stage of its life cycle. After a certain period of time in the sixth stage it will grow big and in the same phase, salamon will be matured. In the last and final stage salamon, it will migrate to the spawning areas of the river. This is how the life cycle process of salamon fish.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cycle of salmon fish from egg
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phase
to adult phase.

Overall
, there are 7
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stages
of salmon fish growing form egg to adult. The importance of this fish is, it takes birth in the
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river
and
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migrates
to the ocean for period of it's
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life
time and again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to the
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river
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
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phase
Did you mean "of its life"?
of it's life
.

In this essay,
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i'm
concentrating on the
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different
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phases
of salmon's
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life
. Primary
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stage
is the incubation period which occurs in the
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river
. After few hours, it enters into the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
emergence
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, this
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phase
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
fish hatching
Did you mean "for" or "from"?
fro
the egg. The third
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phase
is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Fresh water rearing
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, by taking the nutrients of the
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river
water, fish will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to grow. The fourth and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Estuary Rearing
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, this
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phase
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible spelling mistake found.
becasue
fish will
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migrate
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
to the ocean. This transition
is called
as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
ESTUARY
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

After entering into the ocean water,
Possible spelling mistake found.
salamon
will
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migrate
to rearing areas in the fifth
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stage
of its
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life
cycle. After a certain period of time in the sixth
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stage
it will grow
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big
and in the same
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phase
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
salamon
will
be matured
. In the last and final
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stage
Possible spelling mistake found.
salamon
, it will
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migrate
to the spawning areas of the
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river
. This is how the
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life
cycle process of
Possible spelling mistake found.
salamon
fish.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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