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The diagram below shows production of a lead pencil

The diagram below represents the process of making a lead pencil. As an overview, there are 12 stages in this process beginning with planting trees and ending with packaging the pencils. First, some plants are planted. Once the plants have grown for four months, they are ready for the replanting step. \\ As soon as replanted trees have got large enough, they are thinned. Thinned trees then are logged by a cutter in order to procure some thin slats. After, some chemicals are used to shape the thin slats. The shaped slats wait for 60 days before they are covered with groove and black leads by using glue. Afterwards, a new slat is added to the top of the black leaded slat as like a sandwich. When this step is done, a heater hardly presses the sandwich shaped slat. Next, the slat is separated as individual pencils. Finally, separated pencils are painted and stamped and then sharpened for packing stage.
The diagram below represents the process of making a lead pencil. As an overview, there are 12 stages in this process beginning with planting trees and ending with packaging the pencils.

First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plants
are planted
. Once the plants have grown for four months, they are ready for the replanting step. \\ As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as replanted trees have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
large
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, they
are thinned
. Thinned trees then
are logged
by a cutter in order to procure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
thin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slats
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chemicals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to shape the thin slats.

The shaped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slats
wait for 60 days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are covered
with groove and black leads by using glue. Afterwards, a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slat
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the top of the black leaded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slat
as like a sandwich. When this step
is done
, a heater hardly presses the sandwich shaped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slat
.
Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slat
is separated
as individual pencils.
Finally
, separated pencils
are painted
and stamped and then sharpened for packing stage.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows production of a lead pencil

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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