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The chart below shows figures for attendances at hospital emergency care departments in Northern Ireland by age group in December 2016 and December 2017.

The bar chart compares the number of visits made by people in six age categories to hospital emergency wards in Northern Ireland in the December of 2016 and 2017. It is clear that elderly people and the youngest children were the most frequent visitors to A&E (accident and emergency) departments. Also, there was a slight increase in the rate of emergency care attendances among all six age groups from December 2016 to December 2017. Looking first at the older age groups, roughly 65 out of every 1000 people aged 75 and over attended A&E wards in December 2016, and this rose to almost 70 attendances per 1000-population one year later. Interestingly, those aged 65 to 74 were less than half as likely to require emergency treatment, with around 30 attendances per 1000-population in both months. At the other end of the age scale, the figures for A&E visits by under-5s rose marginally from around 50 to approximately 52 per 1000-population over the one-year period. Children aged 5 to 15 made the fewest visits, at just over 20 per 1000-population in both months. Finally, there was almost no difference in the figures for emergency care attendances among people aged 16 to 44, 45 to 64 and 65 to 74. (217 words, band 9)This answer is a little longer than necessary. We could probably remove a few phrases without affecting the score.

The bar chart compares the number of visits made by You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 in six You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 categories to hospital You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdifficultycrunchaccidentnecessitytension
emergency
 wards in Northern Ireland in the When specifying a month and year, ‘of’ is unnecessary: “December 2016”.December 2016
December of 2016
 and 2017.

It is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 that elderly You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 and the youngest children were the most frequent visitors to A&E (accident and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdifficultycrunchaccidentnecessitytension
emergency)
 departments. Also
, there was a slight increase in the rate of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdifficultycrunchaccidentnecessitytension
emergency
 care You use this word too often, consider replacing it withappearanceparticipationpresence
attendances
 among all six You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 groups from December 2016 to December 2017.

Looking first
 at the older You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 groups, roughly 65 out of every 1000 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withelderly
aged
 75 and over attended A&E wards in December 2016, and this rose to almost 70 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withappearanceparticipationpresence
attendances
 per You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsocietypopulacepeoplecommunityculturestate
1000-population
 one year later. Interestingly
, those You use this word too often, consider replacing it withelderly
aged
 65 to 74 were less than half as likely to require You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdifficultycrunchaccidentnecessitytension
emergency
 treatment, with around 30 You use this word too often, consider replacing it withappearanceparticipationpresence
attendances
 per You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsocietypopulacepeoplecommunityculturestate
1000-population
 in both months.

At the other This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :expiration
end
 of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withyouthmaturitylifeold age
age
 scale, the figures for A&E visits by under-5s rose marginally
 from around 50 to approximately 52 per You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsocietypopulacepeoplecommunityculturestate
1000-population
 over the one-year period. Children You use this word too often, consider replacing it withelderly
aged
 5 to 15 made the fewest visits, at This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 over 20 per You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsocietypopulacepeoplecommunityculturestate
1000-population
 in both months. Finally
, there was almost no difference in the figures for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdifficultycrunchaccidentnecessitytension
emergency
 care You use this word too often, consider replacing it withappearanceparticipationpresence
attendances
 among You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withelderly
aged
 16 to 44, 45 to 64 and 65 to 74.

(217 words, band 9)This answer is a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
little
 longer than necessary. We could probably
 remove a few phrases without affecting the score. 