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The diagram below shows information about quartely profit for three companies of united states from 2005 to 2007.

The line graph illustrates about the profit earned in billion dollars quarterly by Microsoft, Apple and IBM, over a three-year period from 2005 to 2007Overall, As we can observed in Q1 2005 Microsoft's profit was highest followed by Apple and IBM respectively, However in Q4 2007 Apple outperformed its peers and attained number one position. Firstly, Microsoft earned nearly USD 2. 8 Billion in Q1 2005 followed by slight increased in Q2 2005. From Q1 2005 to Q3 2007 Microsoft experienced continuous fluctuation quarter by quarter, attaining peak at around USD 3. 6 Billion in Q3 2007 and dropped to USD 3. 4 Billion in Q4 2007. Secondly, Apple's profit was around USD 0. 7 Billion and shown continuous increase over the period. Between Q4 06 to Q1 07 revenue was flat at USD 2. 5 Billion and rose drastically peaked at USD 3. 45 Billion, outracing its peers. Thirdly, IBM started at the bottom from USD. 5 Billion and peaked at USD 3. 5 Billion in Q2 07 and thereafter sharp declined of about 54 percent. Lastly settled at bottom with USD 2. 5 Billion.
The line graph illustrates about the profit earned in
Use “a billion” or use a number before ‘billion’.
billion
dollars quarterly by Microsoft, Apple and IBM, over a three-year period from 2005 to 2007Overall, As we can
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
observed
in Q1 2005 Microsoft's profit was highest followed by Apple and IBM
respectively
,
However
in Q4 2007 Apple outperformed its peers and attained number one position.
Firstly
, Microsoft earned
nearly
USD 2. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
in Q1 2005 followed by slight increased in Q2 2005. From Q1 2005 to Q3 2007 Microsoft experienced continuous fluctuation quarter by quarter, attaining peak at around USD 3. 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
in Q3 2007 and dropped to USD 3. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
in Q4 2007.
Secondly
, Apple's profit was around USD 0. 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
and shown continuous increase over the period. Between Q4 06 to Q1 07 revenue was flat at USD 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
and rose
drastically
peaked at USD 3. 45
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Billion
, outracing its peers.
Thirdly
, IBM
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at the bottom from USD. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
and peaked at USD 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
in Q2 07 and thereafter sharp declined of about 54 percent.
Lastly
settled at bottom with USD 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Billion
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows information about quartely profit for three companies of united states from 2005 to 2007.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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