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the diagram below shows how sugar is produced from sugar beets

the diagram below shows how sugar is produced from sugar beets Kw0x9
The illustration highlights several stages involved in a linear process through which sugar is manufactured from sugar beets. As can be observed from the diagram, there are nine steps in the process, beginning with unloading beets and finishing with spinning sugar in a centrifuge. The process starts when beets are unloa Go Premium ded from the truck. Subsequently, the beets are shaken in order to remove dirt, followed by being washed with water through the use of the machine so that it is safe for consumption. After the beets are made into cassettes through being cut up, these cassettes are put into hot water, which allows sugar to be extracted. Once this has been done, milk of lime is added so that juice is cleaned. After this step is complete, the mixture is poured through a filter to remove milk of lime and create pure clean sugar juice. Then, the sugar juice is heated so as to evaporate water. The final step of the process takes place when sugar is spun in a centrifuge, which leads to the crystallization of sugar.
The illustration highlights several stages involved in a linear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is manufactured
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
beets.

As can
be observed
from the diagram, there are nine steps in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, beginning with unloading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beets
and finishing with spinning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in a centrifuge.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beets
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
unloa


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ded
from the truck.
Subsequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beets
are shaken
in order to remove dirt, followed by
being washed
with water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the machine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is safe for consumption. After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beets
are made
into cassettes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
up, these cassettes
are put
into hot water, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
to
be extracted
. Once this has
been done
, milk of lime is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that juice
is cleaned
. After this step is complete, the mixture
is poured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a filter to remove milk of lime and create pure clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
juice. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
juice
is heated
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
evaporate water.

The final step of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
takes place when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is spun
in a centrifuge, which leads to the crystallization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
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IELTS academic the diagram below shows how sugar is produced from sugar beets

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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