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The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The picture above presents the process steps of water filtering, treatment and distribution that transform rainwater into drinking one. Some of the main steps are: filtering, storing, treating with chemicals, house distribution. Firstly, when raining, rainwater gets collected by the buildings pipes, which are connected to a wider underground water collection system. Then, water goes straight into a filter that eliminates some unwanted impurities of raw water. Then, filtered water goes deeper in the ground, continuing its path in a smaller pipe, and reaches a huge storage tank where large amount of water is stored. After the storage phase, an horizontal pipe allows water to move in another container with similar dimension as the previous one; where the water is treated with chemicals, to become drinking quality water. After that the water is brought to the various building through another water distribution system. Finally, the drinking water is ready to be used for people and house needs. Thanks to this process, the drinking water can be obtained from rainfall and the water supply problem can be solved.
The picture above presents the process steps of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
filtering, treatment and distribution that transform rainwater into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
one.
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
Some of the
main steps are: filtering, storing, treating with chemicals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
distribution.
Firstly
, when raining, rainwater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
collected by the buildings pipes, which
are connected
to a wider underground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
collection system. Then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
goes straight into a filter that eliminates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwanted impurities of raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Then, filtered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
goes deeper in the ground, continuing its path in a smaller pipe, and reaches a huge storage tank where large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is stored
. After the storage phase,
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
horizontal pipe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in another container with similar dimension as the previous one; where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is treated
with chemicals, to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is brought
to the various building through another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
distribution system.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is ready to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
needs. Thanks to this process, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
can
be obtained
from rainfall and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply problem can
be solved
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
177 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.