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The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn.

The diagram shows the procedure of the production of ethanol fuel from corn. The procedure is made out of nine stages. First, we collect the corn in the stores. Then, the next step is the milling process. When this process is finished the energy that makes the ethanol fuel, must be cooked for four hours and then water must be added in the mixture. After that, the mixture must be kept in the fermenting for 48 hours. The next stage, after the 48 hours in the fermenting is the separating part. On that part the ethanol fuel procedure came to add liquid to the solid product in order to pass to the new level that is purifying ethanol. There the mixture must be kept for 5 hours. When this procedure finishes the mixture may be stored there. The final step is transporting. Overall, that process of the production of ethanol fuel from corn needs some days to be completed.
The diagram
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shows
the
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procedure
of the production of
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ethanol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
from corn. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedure
is made
out of nine stages.

First
, we collect the corn in the stores. Then, the
next
step is the milling process. When this process
is finished
the energy that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethanol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be cooked
for four hours and then water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in the
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mixture
. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the fermenting for 48 hours.

The
next
stage, after the 48 hours in the fermenting is the separating part. On that part the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethanol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
procedure
came to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
liquid to the solid product in order to pass to the new level
that is
purifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethanol
. There the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for 5 hours.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
this
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procedure
finishes the
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mixture
may
be stored
there. The final step is transporting.

Overall
, that process of the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethanol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
from corn needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days to
be completed
.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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