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The table below shows the leisure hours by Canadians in a year based on their age groups

The Provided tabular chart illustrates how the canadian citizens spend their free time throughout the year by comparing the all age groups. Moreover, The Reasons segregated into the categories such as Viewing Television, socializing with 4 and more or less people, individual exercise, group exercise as well as cinema. Overall, The watching of Modern devices are accounted with huge time as 12000 hours by the Teenage people which is most largest among the all the categories and ranked first when compared with other age groups. It is pellucid that, the Watching movies are rendered with least interest over the young ones by utilizing 100 hours rather then other fields, there arises an drastic decrease and reached 25 till the age group of 40 years followed by it remains over constant value between the group of people's from 40's and 50's. Furthermore, It suddenly projected two-fold jump by 75 in the case of 70's. The colloborating with four or more people are showcased with declined trend over the values of the age groups from 350 to 25. Further Point of interest, The Individuals from the category of 60's along with 70's are evidently proved with Zero Percent of Interest over the physical fitness and exercise on every day basis, which is the smallest of all values updated in the dataset.
The Provided tabular chart illustrates how the
Possible spelling mistake found.
canadian
citizens spend their free time throughout the year by comparing the all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Moreover
, The Reasons segregated into the categories such as Viewing Television, socializing with 4 and more or less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, individual exercise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
exercise
as well
as cinema.

Overall
, The watching of Modern devices
Possible agreement error.
are
accounted with huge time as 12000 hours by the Teenage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which is
Use only “largest” (without ‘most’) when you use the superlative.
most largest
among the all the categories and ranked
first
when compared with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

It is pellucid that, the Watching movies
are rendered
with
A determiner is probably missing here: “the least”.
least
interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the young ones by utilizing 100 hours
rather
Did you mean “than”? ‘than’ is used for comparisons, ‘then’ is an expression of time.
then
other fields, there arises
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
drastic decrease and reached 25 till the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 40 years followed by it remains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
constant value between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's from
Apostrophes aren’t needed for decades: “40s”.
40's
and
Apostrophes aren’t needed for decades: “50s”.
50's
.
Furthermore
, It
suddenly
projected two-fold jump by 75 in the case of
Apostrophes aren’t needed for decades: “70s”.
70's
.

The
Possible spelling mistake found.
colloborating
with four or more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are showcased
with declined trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the values of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
from 350 to 25.
Further
Point of interest, The Individuals from the category of
Apostrophes aren’t needed for decades: “60s”.
60's
along with
Apostrophes aren’t needed for decades: “70s”.
70's
are
evidently
proved with Zero Percent of Interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the physical fitness and exercise on every day basis, which is the smallest of all values updated in the dataset.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the leisure hours by Canadians in a year based on their age groups

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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