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The diagram below shows how Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.

The diagram below shows how Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. xW8Q
The given diagram gives information about how newest information on weather is recorded by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to obtain dependable forecasts. In general, the Bureau uses three main sources to gather weather data which is then analyzed and further prepared to broadcast the garnered information. To start with, details of weather is assembled from three sources in varied places; up in the sky and on the land, those are namely, satellite, radar and drifting buoy. The well-founded data from these sources is then analyzed using distinct mediums. Next, particulars from satellite are examined as satellite photo, from the radar as radar screen and of drifting buoy as synoptic chart. Moreover, the analyzed facts from each source are brought together and feed into a computer; here they are prepared for broadcasting. Finally, the weather forecast is delivered to the public via distinct modes viz, TV newsreader, radio and recorded announcement.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram gives information about how
A determiner is probably missing here: "the newest".
newest
information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
is recorded
by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to obtain dependable forecasts.

In general
, the Bureau
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
three main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
to gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
data which is then analyzed and
further
prepared to broadcast the garnered information.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
is assembled
from three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
in varied places; up in the sky and on the land, those are
namely
, satellite, radar and drifting buoy. The well-founded data from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
is then analyzed using distinct mediums.
Next
, particulars from satellite
are examined
as satellite photo, from the radar as radar screen and of drifting buoy as synoptic chart.

Moreover
, the analyzed facts from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
are brought
together and feed into a computer; here they
are prepared
for broadcasting.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
forecast
is delivered
to the public via distinct
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "modes'" or "mode's"?
modes
viz, TV newsreader, radio and recorded announcement.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows how Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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