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The diagram below show the stage and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purpose.

The diagram below show the stage and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purpose. E33ML
The given process charts illutrate the way in which cement production are produced for building purpose. According to the provided presentation, to begin with, limestone and clay have to put on crusher for making powder which goes into mixer for making. At the sencond stage, powder which is go through by rotating heater for applying heat. if the powder is heated with helping of heater, it can be puted on grind err. after that row material is used for making cement. finally the cement is packed into the bags. As can be seen that initially 15%of cement and 10%of water are added into the concrete mixer for rotating. At the same time sand (25%)and geavel (50%) have to add for making concrete production. Unless the row material is collected into the concrete mixer, it can not be ready for using into building purpose. At last stage it is ready to use for construction. From the overall analysis, the process of cement and concrete is a complex which passes trough distinct stages before material is ready to be used.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
process charts
Possible spelling mistake found.
illutrate
the way in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production
are produced
for building purpose.

According to the provided presentation, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, limestone and clay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put on crusher for making powder which goes into mixer for making. At the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sencond
stage, powder which is
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
through by rotating heater for applying heat.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
the powder
is heated
with helping of heater, it can be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "put", the past tense form of the verb 'put'?
puted
on grind err.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
that row material is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
finally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is packed
into the bags.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
initially
15%of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and 10%of water are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into the concrete mixer for rotating. At the same time sand (25%)and
Possible spelling mistake found.
geavel
(50%)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
for making concrete production. Unless the row material
is collected
into the concrete mixer, it can not be ready for using into building purpose. At last stage it is ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for construction.

From the
overall
analysis, the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and concrete is a complex which passes trough distinct stages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
material is ready to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

IELTS academic The diagram below show the stage and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purpose.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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