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The diagram below show the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below show the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. XEnyY
The illustration provides a detailed description about how the production of sugar from sugar cane. Overall, the process can be outlined in 7 stages, beginning with growing sugar cane and ending with the drying and cooling process. First of all, the sugar cane is grown over a period of 12 to 18 months, and then when started the harvesting crops, mature sugar cane will be harvested by workers or machines. At the next stage, the sugar cane is passed the crusher and pressed to extract the juice. After that, the resulting juice is sent to purifying juice by passing them through a limestone filter, while the bagasse can be used in others. Furthermore, purifying juice is delivered to the evaporator, they will be heat treated and become syrup, which is brought to the centrifuge to separates sugar crystals from the syrup. Finally, the sugar is put into the drying and cooling process before reaching the consumer.
The illustration provides a detailed description about how the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
cane.

Overall
, the process can
be outlined
in 7 stages, beginning with growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
and ending with the drying and cooling process.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
is grown
over a period of 12 to 18 months, and then when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the harvesting crops, mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
will
be harvested
by workers or machines. At the
next
stage, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cane
is passed
the crusher and pressed to extract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
. After that, the resulting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to purifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
by passing them through a limestone filter, while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bagasse
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in others.
Furthermore
, purifying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juice
is delivered
to the evaporator, they will be heat treated and become syrup, which
is brought
to the centrifuge to separates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals from the syrup.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is put
into the drying and cooling process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching the consumer.
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IELTS academic The diagram below show the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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