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The diagram below represents the “Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011”. Summarise the information given in the diagrams. Write at least 150 words.

The following diagram represents the comparison between the urban consumption of chinese in 1995 and 2011. Chinese spent 8. 0% for their residence in 1995 while the spending rate increased 1% that is 9. 0% in 2011, on the other hand they have spent 2% more on education in 2011. Furthermore looking upon the food consumption chinese have cut off 14% food consumption in 2011 which was 50% in 1995. House hold facilities remained same between 1995 and 2011 that is 7. 0%. As the need for medical supply increased due to the evaluation of different diseases the rate of consumption of medicine also increased from 3. 0% to 7. 0%. The transportation is a marked sector which have grew to a wider margin from 5. 0% to 14. 0%. Chinese have also reduced their spending on clothing for 3%. The overall statistics does not show a huge difference in consumption rate fron 1995 to 2011.
The following diagram represents the comparison between the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
chinese
in 1995 and 2011.

Chinese spent 8. 0% for their residence in 1995 while the spending rate increased 1%
that is
9. 0% in 2011,
on the other hand
they have spent 2% more on education in 2011.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
looking upon the food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
Possible spelling mistake found.
chinese
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off 14% food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
in 2011 which was 50% in 1995.
The word “household” is normally spelled as one word.
House hold
facilities remained same between 1995 and 2011
that is
7. 0%. As the need for medical supply increased due to the evaluation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of medicine
also
increased from 3. 0% to 7. 0%. The transportation is a marked sector which have
Use past participle here: “grown”.
grew
to a wider margin from 5. 0% to 14. 0%. Chinese have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
their spending on clothing for 3%.

The
overall
statistics does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a huge difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
rate
Possible spelling mistake found.
fron
1995 to 2011.
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IELTS academic The diagram below represents the “Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011”.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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