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The diagram below hows how salt is removed from sea water to make drinkable.

The diagram below hows how salt is removed from sea water to make drinkable. 6QKB
The process of desalination includes seven stages which is started to take saltwater from the sea and ended with transportation of purified water to the supply system. At first, the saltwater is taken from the sea and passed through the pre-treatment filter which at this point salt and impurities are removed. By doing this, the filter backwash is came back to the sea. During this time, water is forced through membrane at high pressure. It should be noted that at this stage seawater concentrate is returned to sea. Afterwards, water is post-treated by adding various chemical elements such as lime, chlorine and fluoride which help to make freshwater before it is sent to the storage and finally, it is piped into integrated water supply system to be used by people. In conclusion, the water which results from this process is clean and drinkable due to the fact the salt is removed.
The process of desalination includes seven stages which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to take saltwater from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
and ended with transportation of purified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to the supply system.

At
first
, the saltwater
is taken
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
and passed through the pre-treatment filter which at this point salt and impurities
are removed
. By doing this, the filter backwash is
Consider using a past participle here: "come".
came
back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
. During this time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is forced
through membrane at high pressure. It should
be noted
that at this stage seawater concentrate
is returned
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
. Afterwards,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is post-treated by adding various chemical elements such as lime, chlorine and fluoride which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
freshwater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the storage and
finally
, it
is piped
into integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply system to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which results from this process is clean and drinkable due to the fact the salt
is removed
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below hows how salt is removed from sea water to make drinkable.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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