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The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000. 3pDd
The line graph details how many parcels was sent through two leading courier services: TNT and FedEx over the 80-year course from 1920 to 2000. Overall, the beginnings of each of these two companies had an significant diffrence. FedEx had a better start in 1920, but in 2000 TNT was the company which had a larger amount of parcels delivered. Between 1920 and 1940, the number of parcels delivered by FedEx fairly increased from 15, 000 to about 24, 000. This figure then sharply dropped to nearly 12, 500 over the following 20 years. In the next two decades, it slowly went up by almost 5, 000. The number of parcels sent by FedEx evened out at around 17, 000 over the following decades. On the contrary, TNT had approximately 5, 000 deliveries in 1920, a figure that is only about a third of what FedEx delivered in that same year. There was a steady growth in the number of parcel sent TNT roughly 7, 000 by the year 1960 and maintained the same level at a little more than 11, 000 till 1980. Finally, in 1990, TNT crossed succesfully over FedEx in term of number parcels organized and then peaking at 24, 000 parcels in 2000. In general, although the number of parcels FedEx delivered in 1920 was considerably higher, at the end of the period, the FedEx company was overtaken bt the TNT.
The line graph
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details
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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parcels
was
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sent
through two leading courier services:
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TNT
and FedEx
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over
the
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80-year
course from 1920 to 2000.

Overall
, the beginnings of each of these two
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companies
had
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
significant
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diffrence
. FedEx had a better
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start
in 1920,
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but
in 2000
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TNT
was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which had a larger amount of
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parcels
delivered.

Between 1920 and 1940, the
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number
of
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parcels
delivered by FedEx
fairly
increased from 15, 000 to about 24, 000. This figure then
sharply
dropped to
nearly
12, 500
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over
the following 20 years. In the
next
two decades, it
slowly
went up by almost 5, 000. The
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number
of
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parcels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
by FedEx evened out at around 17, 000
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over
the following decades.

On the contrary
,
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TNT
had approximately 5, 000 deliveries in 1920, a figure
that is
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only
about a third of what FedEx delivered in that same
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year
. There was a steady growth in the
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number
of
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parcel
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sent
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TNT
roughly 7, 000 by the
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year
1960 and maintained the same level at a
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little
more than 11, 000 till 1980.
Finally
, in 1990,
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TNT
crossed
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesfully
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over
FedEx in term of
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number
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parcels
organized and then peaking at 24, 000
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parcels
in 2000.

In general
, although the
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number
of
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parcels
FedEx delivered in 1920 was
considerably
higher, at the
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end
of the period, the FedEx
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company
was overtaken
Possible spelling mistake found.
bt
the
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TNT
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
235 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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