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The diagram about how a newsroom works

The diagram about how a newsroom works R50ok
The diagram illustrates how news stories are created in a newsroom. First, news stories come into the newsroom through either journalists, press releases or members of the general public. Secondly, journalists assigned to different stories. This may mean they have to attend an event, conduct interviews or search through archives. Thirdly, images become involved in the process. This could be through television crews, graphic designers or photographers loaded into a computer. Journalists also have time at this point to finish their stories. Finally, sub-editor are used to check that stories are legally and factually correct. Also at this stage, some stories may be cut, due to space or time restrictions. Overall, the diagram shows how news is created in five simple steps. Many people are involved in the process, from journalists to photographers.
The diagram illustrates how news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
are created
in a newsroom.

First
, news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into the newsroom through either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
, press releases or members of the
Consider using "public".
general public
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
assigned to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
. This may mean they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, conduct interviews or search through archives.

Thirdly
, images become involved in the process. This could be through television crews, graphic designers or photographers loaded into a computer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Journalists
also
have time at this point to finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
.
Finally
, sub-editor are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
are
legally
and
factually
correct.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
at this stage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
, due to space or time restrictions.

Overall
, the diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how news
is created
in five simple steps.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are involved
in the process, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
to photographers.
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IELTS academic The diagram about how a newsroom works

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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