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The devices people use to watch television in Canada

The devices people use to watch television in Canada Mo8ao
The pie chart illustrates percentage of Canadians from 18 to 25 years old people using devices for watching television in 2009 and 2019. Overall, as can be seen from data, conventional TV has been used more in 2009 than 2019. Also using flat screen TV and tablet become more useful by Canadians. In 2009, some types of technology was used likely in 2019. For instance, desktop computer was used 18%, however this percentage was not changed in 2019. It is equal to 12 %. Usefulness laptop decreased only 8% in 2019. Year after year, demand for technology was changed. Huge differences can be seen on using conventional TV and tablet. In 2009 conventional TV was popular and used 34%. But this percentage declining dramatically to 4 % in 2019. However, using tablet raising to 14% in 2019. Also, mobile phone comes more useful in 2019. This can be seen 11% of difference between given years.
The pie chart illustrates percentage of Canadians from 18 to 25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using devices for watching television in 2009 and 2019.

Overall
, as can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from data, conventional TV has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more in 2009 than 2019.
Also
using flat screen TV and tablet become more useful by Canadians.

In 2009,
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some
types of technology was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
likely in 2019.
For instance
, desktop computer was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
18%,
however
this percentage was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in 2019. It is equal to 12 %. Usefulness laptop decreased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
8% in
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2019. Year
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, demand for technology was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Huge differences can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on using conventional TV and tablet. In 2009 conventional TV was popular and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
34%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this percentage declining
dramatically
to 4 % in 2019.
However
, using tablet raising to 14% in 2019.
Also
, mobile phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
more useful in 2019. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
11% of difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.
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IELTS academic The devices people use to watch television in Canada

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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