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The data presented in the above charts depicts both an increase (in terms of fat intake) and a decrease (in terms of starch intake) in the typical American diet.

The data presented in the above charts depicts both an increase (in terms of fat intake) and a decrease (in terms of starch intake) in the typical American diet. KyNPw
The two charts show the difference in American eating habits over a 15 year period between 1990 and 2005. The trend that is created between these charts reveal a negative correlation between the spike in fat and sugar consumption and the drop in starch consumption. When looking at the 1990 chart, it is apparent that starches account for the lion’s share of the pie, at 43% of the typical American diet. Intakes of fat, sugar and protein at this time mades up the remaining 30%, 15% and 12% respectively. However, the second pie chart illustrates a drastic change to these figures. In only 15 years, fat and sugar intake rises significantly to make up 42% and 24% of the average American’s caloric intake, while starch consumption shrank to 22%, almost half of its original 1995 value. Protein is the one section of the American diet that remains constant between 1990 and 2005.
The two
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charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the difference in American eating habits over a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "15-year"
15 year
period between 1990 and 2005. The trend that
is created
between these
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charts
reveal a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
correlation between the spike in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar consumption and the drop in starch consumption.

When looking at the 1990
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, it is apparent that starches account for the lion’s share of the pie, at 43% of the typical American diet. Intakes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, sugar and protein at this time
Possible spelling mistake found.
mades up
the remaining 30%, 15% and 12%
respectively
.

However
, the second pie
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chart
illustrates a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to these figures. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15 years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar intake rises
significantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up 42% and 24% of the average American’s caloric intake, while starch consumption shrank to 22%, almost half of its original 1995 value. Protein is the one section of the American diet that remains constant between 1990 and 2005.

IELTS academic The data presented in the above charts depicts both an increase (in terms of fat intake) and a decrease (in terms of starch intake) in the typical American diet.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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