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The two given pie charts depict the proportions of industry sectors’ contribution in eight categories to the economy of Turkey between 2010 and 2016.

The two given pie charts depict the proportions of industry sectors’ contribution in eight categories to the economy of Turkey between 2010 and 2016. Yd1aQ
The two given pie charts depict the proportions of industry sectors’ contribution in eight categories to the economy of Turkey between 2010 and 2016. Overall, it is clear from the graphs that half of the sectors witnessed an increase while the opposite was true for the others. Simultaneously, after a 6-year course, Health and Education was the leading factor despite remaining relatively stable. At the beginning of research time, Agriculture experienced the most significant figure at 24%, nearly a quarter of the total contribution but after the period from 2000 to 2016, this proportion plummeted to 14%. Sharing the similar trend to Agriculture was the figures for Government and Leisure and Hospitality, decreasing by 3%. Regarding the remaining sectors, despite reaching a plateau on a 6-year scale, Health and Education was still the sector occupying the highest proportion. In terms of other sectors, all of them witnessed an upward trend especially when the figure for Construction rose by approximately 7% and accounted for roughly one-tenth of total economic contribution.
The two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts depict the proportions of industry
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sectors’
contribution in eight categories to the economy of Turkey between 2010 and 2016.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graphs that half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
witnessed an increase while the opposite was true for the others.
Simultaneously
, after a 6-year course, Health and Education was the leading factor despite remaining
relatively
stable.

At the beginning of research time, Agriculture experienced the most significant figure at 24%,
nearly
a quarter of the total contribution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after the period from 2000 to 2016, this proportion plummeted to 14%. Sharing the similar trend to Agriculture was the figures for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and Leisure and Hospitality, decreasing by 3%.

Regarding the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, despite reaching a plateau on a 6-year scale, Health and Education was
still
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
occupying the highest proportion. In terms of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, all of them witnessed an upward trend
especially
when the figure for Construction rose by approximately 7% and accounted for roughly one-tenth of total economic contribution.
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IELTS academic The two given pie charts depict the proportions of industry sectors’ contribution in eight categories to the economy of Turkey between 2010 and 2016.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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