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the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. r7Gn
The diagram compares changes in consumption figures for different kinds of meat and fish in a country in Europe from 1979 to 2004. Overall, although the beef was initially the most popular type of meat, it was overtaken by chicken towards the end of the survey. In contrast, the figure for fish remained the least significant throughout the period. In the first year, beef had a consumption of about 225 grams per person per week, after which it experienced a sudden drop of 50 before increasing to about 230 in 1984. There were small fluctuations until 1989, which was followed by a dramatic decrease to around half as high as its original level in 2004. The figure for lamb was initially almost as high as that for chicken (around 150 grams). However, while the former declined gradually as it reached approximately 60 in the last year, the latter saw considerable growth and outstripped beef consumption in 989, peaking at 250 in 2004. Fish consumption was originally approximately 60 grams and experienced a small fall of about 10 over the period.
The diagram compares
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changes
in
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consumption
figures for
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different
kinds of meat and fish in a country in Europe from 1979 to 2004.
Overall
, although the beef was
initially
the most popular type of meat, it
was overtaken
by chicken towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the survey.
In contrast
, the figure for fish remained the least significant throughout the period.

In the
first
year, beef had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of about 225 grams per person per week, after which it experienced a sudden drop of 50
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
increasing to about 230 in 1984. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fluctuations until 1989, which
was followed
by a dramatic decrease to around half as high as its original level in 2004.

The figure for lamb was
initially
almost as high as that for chicken (around 150 grams).
However
, while the former declined
gradually
as it reached approximately 60 in the last year, the latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
considerable growth and outstripped beef
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consumption
in 989, peaking at 250 in 2004.

Fish
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consumption
was
originally
approximately 60 grams and experienced a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fall of about 10 over the period.

IELTS academic the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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