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The comparison of different kinds of energy consumption of the UK in two years

The comparison of different kinds of energy consumption of the UK in two years k5198
The pie charts given in the question illustrates the information about the different types of energy which is consumed by people in the United Kingdom in two distinctive years, 2000 and 2010. Overall, it is obvious from the pie charts that the coal was the most consumed in 2000 and 2010 while other kinds of energy which are not stated name apparently in the pie charts remained the lowest energy consumed in the UK in two years given. According to the two pie charts, the coal had been consumed at 30. 0% in 2000 and increased slightly to 31. 0% in 2010. Interestingly, the UK residents still consumed it the most in two different years. At the same time, the gas had been used at 29. 5% in 2000 and rose minimally to 30. 0% in 2010. Thus, it was still the second energy consumed in the UK in 2000 and 2010. Surprisingly, although the petrol had been consumed at 29. 0% in 2000, it was reduced significantly to 20. 0% in 2010 with the 9% gap between two years. Furthermore, the solar which had been used at 6. 5% in 2000 obviously rose to 10. 0% in 2010, while other energies used in the UK had been consumed at 5. 0% in 2000 also increased to 9. 0% in 2010. In conclusion, it is very clear from the pie charts that coal was the most energy which was consumed in the UK in 2000 and 2010, followed by gas, petrol, solar, and other types of energy respectively in both years.
The
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pie
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charts
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given
in the question illustrates the information about the
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different
types of
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energy
which is
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consumed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the United Kingdom in two distinctive years, 2000 and 2010.

Overall
, it is obvious from the
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pie
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charts
that the coal was the most
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consumed
in 2000 and 2010 while other kinds of
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energy
which are not stated name
apparently
in the
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pie
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charts
remained the lowest
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energy
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consumed
in the UK in two years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

According to the two
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pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
, the coal had been
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consumed
at 30. 0% in 2000 and increased
slightly
to 31. 0% in 2010.
Interestingly
, the UK residents
still
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consumed
it the most in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years. At the same time, the gas had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at 29. 5% in 2000 and rose
minimally
to 30. 0% in 2010.
Thus
, it was
still
the second
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energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
in the UK in 2000 and 2010.

Surprisingly
, although the petrol had been
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consumed
at 29. 0% in 2000, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
to 20. 0% in 2010 with the 9% gap between two years.
Furthermore
, the solar which had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at 6. 5% in 2000
obviously
rose to 10. 0% in 2010, while other
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energies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the UK had been
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consumed
at 5. 0% in 2000
also
increased to 9.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
0%
in 2010.

In conclusion
, it is
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very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the
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pie
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charts
that coal was the most
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energy
which was
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consumed
in the UK in 2000 and 2010, followed by gas, petrol, solar, and other types of
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energy
respectively
in both years.
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IELTS academic The comparison of different kinds of energy consumption of the UK in two years

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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