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The combination of charts show the percentage of uses of water and distribution of Persia

The combination of charts show the percentage of uses of water and distribution of Persia ROX8
The report is being written about the information of the distribution of world's water and the use of water in three various countries namely, Egypt, Saudi Arab and Canada. Overall, In the first pie chart the picture of course to saltwater other remain fresh water moreover, in 2nd pie chart it is Apparent that the freshwater water contain by ice and glacial maximum and minimum from ground however the table charge show the use of water mostly in agriculture by two countries and other one country use for industry. The percentage of salt water was excessively fire 97% and the proportion of freshwater negligible merely 3% while, the freshwater 79% obtained by ice and glaciers which was approximately two time above then groundwater other remains surface water contribute only 1%. The use of water for agricultural by Egypt 80% which is significantly higher than domestic and industries are only the 10% and 5% respectively as well as, in Saudi Arab the same proportion of the use of water moreover, the Canadians people use water considerably for industry almost 80% and for agriculture and domestic they use 10% only.
The report is
being written
about the information of the distribution of world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in three various countries
namely
, Egypt, Saudi Arab and Canada.
Overall
, In the
first
pie chart the picture
of course
to saltwater other remain fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
moreover
, in 2nd pie chart it is Apparent that the freshwater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contain by ice and glacial maximum and minimum from ground
however
the table charge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
mostly
in agriculture by two countries and other one country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for industry. The percentage of salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was
excessively
fire 97% and the proportion of freshwater negligible
merely
3% while, the freshwater 79% obtained by ice and glaciers which was approximately two time above then groundwater other remains surface
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
contribute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1%. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for agricultural by Egypt 80% which is
significantly
higher than domestic and industries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the 10% and 5%
respectively
as well
as, in Saudi Arab the same proportion of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
moreover
, the Canadians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
considerably
for industry almost 80% and for agriculture and domestic they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
10%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
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IELTS academic The combination of charts show the percentage of uses of water and distribution of Persia

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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