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The church shows Favorite leisure activities of teenagers in UK

The church shows Favorite leisure activities of teenagers in UK BwWBd
This bar chart illustrates the percentage of activities that teenagers do in their leisure time Favorite leisure activitiesin the UK. By and large, sports are the most popular among the boys whereas ‘’the art and craft’’ is the most interesting field for girls. The percentages of both sexes in computer games are exactly the same. The percentage of girls in art and craft is significantly higher than the boys for about 20%. This is the least popular activity for boys. Similarly, reading books is more popular among females than males. The percentage of boys and girls playing computer games are exactly the same at 15%. The proportion of boys in watching DVDs is the same as in playing computer games while those of girls is a little higher by 5%. The bar chart provides that going to the Park is the second most favourite activity of boys with 25% and that of girls being at about 12%. The proportion of boys who choose sports is the highest among the other fields with about 28%. In contrast, this is the least popular activity of girls. Only about 12% of the girls choose this activity.
This bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do in their leisure time Favorite leisure
Possible spelling mistake found.
activitiesin
the UK.

By and large, sports are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
whereas ‘’the art and craft’’ is the most interesting field for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of both sexes in computer games are exactly the same.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in art and craft is
significantly
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
for about 20%. This is the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
.
Similarly
, reading books is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
among females than males. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
playing computer games are exactly the same at 15%.

The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in watching DVDs is the same as in playing computer games while those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
higher by 5%.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
bar chart provides that going to the Park is the second most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
with 25% and that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
being at about 12%.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
who choose sports is the highest among the other fields with about 28%.
In contrast
, this is the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
about 12% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
choose this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
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IELTS academic The church shows Favorite leisure activities of teenagers in UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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