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Comparison between food consumptions

Comparison between food consumptions 9wYxx
The line graph illustrates the number of hamburgers, fish and chips, and pizza consumed in the UK, over the 20 year period from 1970 to 1990. Units are measured in grams. Overall, it can be seen that the consumption of pizza and fish and chips increased sharply while the amount of pizza preferred by the British rose. At the beginnig of period, hamburger was the least popular food which was consumed nearly 20 grams. Likewise, fish and chips was accounted approximately 70 grams and it incrased slightly just over the 100 grams. Hamburger followed similar pattern and it reached a little less than 100 in 1980. Both of the consumption of these foods hit a peak at the end of the period, hamburger saw 500 grams, fish and chips were consumed approximately 300 grams. On the other hand, pizza started the perios as a most popular food, which was 300 grams. Then, it slowly decreased just above the 200 in 1980. In 1985, it saw a mild fluctuation and was accounted nearly 200 grams which was the least amount of food consumed in 1990.
The line graph illustrates the number of hamburgers, fish and chips, and pizza
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
in the UK, over the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "20-year"
20 year
period from 1970 to 1990. Units
are measured
in
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grams
.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the consumption of pizza and fish and chips increased
sharply
while the amount of pizza preferred by the British rose. At the
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beginnig
of period, hamburger was the least popular
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food
which was
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consumed
nearly
20
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grams
.
Likewise
, fish and chips
was accounted
approximately 70
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grams
and it
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incrased
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over the 100
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grams
. Hamburger followed similar pattern and it reached a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than 100 in 1980. Both of the consumption of these
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foods
hit a peak at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, hamburger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
500
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grams
, fish and chips were
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consumed
approximately 300 grams.

On the other hand
, pizza
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
perios
as a most popular
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food
, which was 300
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grams
. Then, it
slowly
decreased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above the 200 in 1980. In 1985, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a mild fluctuation and
was accounted
nearly
200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
which was the least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
in 1990.
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IELTS academic Comparison between food consumptions

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
184 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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