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The charts shows below what the percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks.These nutrients may be un healthy if eaten too much.

The charts shows below what the percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be un healthy if eaten too much. QLLOw
As we can see from the above pie charts, it shows how the citizens of USA take nutrients in their daily lifestyle either in lunch or dinner and in snacks. This might affect their health if it is take in a large quantity. Overall there are 3 nutrients sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar which people are taking on regular basis. Sodium and saturated fat consume more in dinner and less in snacks and breakfast. While Added sugar is used highly in snacks and a small amount in breakfast. Starting with sodium, it is used by 43% and in dinner 29%. For lunch and breakfast, it remains the same as 14%. On the other hand saturated fat mostly used in dinner by 37% and small amount in breakfast, for snacks and lunch it is quite similar lunch is 5% more than snacks which is 21%. Moving to Added sugar snacks holds the high position by 42% usage in it. While on second position is dinner by 23%. Lunch holds 3% more than the breakfast which is 19%.
As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the above pie charts, it
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shows
how the citizens
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
take nutrients in their daily lifestyle either in lunch or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
. This might affect their health if it is
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
take
in a large quantity.
Overall
there are 3 nutrients sodium, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are taking on regular basis. Sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
consume more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
and less in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
sugar is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
highly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount in breakfast.

Starting with sodium, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by 43% and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
29%. For lunch and
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breakfast
, it remains the same as 14%.
On the other hand
saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
by 37% and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
and lunch it is quite similar lunch is 5% more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
which is 21%.

Moving to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
holds the high position by 42% usage in it.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
on second position is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
by 23%. Lunch holds 3% more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfast
which is 19%.
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IELTS academic The charts shows below what the percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be un healthy if eaten too much.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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