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The charts show the number of years adults participated in school from 2000 to 2010 in Singapore.

The charts show the number of years adults participated in school from 2000 to 2010 in Singapore. MyxB6
The bar graph illustrates about the average number of school years and the educational of Singaporean men and women between 2000 and 2010. Overall, it is clear that the average number of males spent more time at school than females. In additionally, both Singaporean spend at school rates share the same upward trend. In 2000, the average number of males spent more time at school was 8 years then it increased to 12 in 2010. While, the average number of females spent more time at school remained almost over the time at 8 years from 2000 to 2010. And, total annual number of both Singaporean spend at school rose steadily over the 10 years. Afters 2 years, adults males number of years in school was near 10 yeas in 2004, then also gradually increased in the next 6 years and hit the highest point in 2010, about nears 12 years. However, female average schooling years rose slowly just at 8. 5 years and it remain unchange from 2004 to 2008. The figure then rose slightly at 9 years in 2010.
The bar graph illustrates about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
years and
The phrase 'the educational of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the educational of
Singaporean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women between 2000 and 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of males spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
than females. In
additionally
, both Singaporean spend at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rates share the same upward trend.

In 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of males spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was 8 years then it increased to 12 in 2010.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of females spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
remained almost over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at 8 years from 2000 to 2010. And, total annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of both Singaporean spend at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rose
steadily
over the 10 years.

Afters 2 years, adults males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was near 10 yeas in 2004, then
also
gradually
increased in the
next
6 years and hit the highest point in 2010, about nears 12 years.
However
, female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
schooling years rose
slowly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
at 8. 5 years and it
Did you mean "remains"?
remain
Possible spelling mistake found.
unchange
from 2004 to 2008. The figure then rose
slightly
at 9 years in 2010.
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IELTS academic The charts show the number of years adults participated in school from 2000 to 2010 in Singapore.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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