Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart compares how many recreational activities were approved by Australian children throughout the period surveyed.

The bar chart compares how many recreational activities were approved by Australian children throughout the period surveyed. 6L7Kj
The bar chart compares how many recreational activities were approved by Australian children throughout the period surveyed. On the whole, while the percentage boys was higher than the girls in skateboarding or rollerblading, bike riding, electronic or computer games, the opposite was true for art and craft. It is noticeable that boys and girls liked less active in TV and computer games. As can be seen from the chart, the average Australian juveniles watching TV and video as same as with 100%. Electronic or computer games of the boys was preferred higher than the girls with more than 80% and 60% in that order. Similarly, bike riding was a attracted by the boys in free times. The proportion boys take part in that of roughly 80%, the figure for girls below 60%. About 40% boys age from 5 to 14 was absorbed in skateboarding or rollerblading, which was that for girls age 20%. By contrast, the figure for the girls was spent on art and craft larger than the boys with less than 60% and approximately 35% respectively.
The bar chart compares how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
recreational activities
were approved
by Australian children throughout the period surveyed.

On the whole
, while the percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
was higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
in skateboarding or rollerblading, bike riding, electronic or computer games, the opposite was true for art and craft. It is noticeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
liked less active in TV and computer games.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, the average Australian juveniles watching TV and video as same as with 100%. Electronic or computer games of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
was preferred
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
with more than 80% and 60% in that order.
Similarly
, bike riding was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
attracted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in free times. The proportion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in that of roughly 80%, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
below 60%.

About 40%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
age from 5 to 14
was absorbed
in skateboarding or rollerblading, which was that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
age 20%. By contrast, the figure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
was spent
on art and craft larger than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
with less than 60% and approximately 35%
respectively
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar chart compares how many recreational activities were approved by Australian children throughout the period surveyed.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar chart compares how many recreational activities were approved by Australian children throughout the period surveyed.