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The charts indicate the amount of electricity produced by all types of sources and renewables in France and Germany in 2009.

The charts indicate the amount of electricity produced by all types of sources and renewables in France and Germany in 2009. EwJ2R
The charts indicate the amount of electricity produced by all types of sources and renewables in France and Germany in 2009. Overall, It is evident that Germany depended mainly on conventional thermal energy, and nuclear power was by far the most popular in France. It is noticeable that Germany produced more energy than France. In 2009, Germany generated roughly 560 billion kWh, which was 50 billion kWh higher than that of France. The rate of conventional thermal took the lead in Germany with approximately 59. 6%, in contrast, in France a bottom position belonged to conventional thermal with only 10. 3%. While nuclear power accounted for only 23% in Germany, France relied mainly on this kind of energy with over three-quarters. Both countries (Germany and France) shared a similar pattern of renewable energy with 17. 4% and 13. 7% correspondingly. For renewable energy, while Hydroelectric was harnessed a major share with over four-fifths in France, it contributed just 17. 7% in Germany. The fraction of Biomass and wind power were relatively similar with below 40% and 37% for renewable in Germany respectively, whereas 8. 1% and 10. 5% of renewable energy was created by biomass and wind power in France. Both countries did not pay much attention to geothermal and solar energy in alternative sources with 6. 1% of solar energy in Germany.
The charts indicate the amount of electricity produced by all types of sources and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewables
in France and Germany in 2009.

Overall
, It is evident that Germany depended
mainly
on conventional thermal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, and nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
was by far the most popular in France. It is noticeable that Germany produced more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
than France.

In 2009, Germany generated roughly 560 billion kWh, which was 50 billion kWh higher than that of France. The rate of conventional thermal took the lead in Germany with approximately 59. 6%,
in contrast
, in France a bottom position belonged to conventional thermal with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10. 3%. While nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
accounted for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
23% in Germany, France relied
mainly
on this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
with over three-quarters. Both countries (Germany and France) shared a similar pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
with 17. 4% and 13. 7%
correspondingly
.

For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, while Hydroelectric
was harnessed
a major share with over four-fifths in France, it contributed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
17. 7% in Germany. The fraction of Biomass and wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
were
relatively
similar with below 40% and 37% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
in Germany
respectively
, whereas 8. 1% and 10. 5% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was created
by biomass and wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in France. Both countries did not pay much attention to geothermal and solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in alternative sources with 6. 1% of solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Germany.
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IELTS academic The charts indicate the amount of electricity produced by all types of sources and renewables in France and Germany in 2009.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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