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The charts illustrate the proportion of consumptive household in Japan and Malaysia in 2010

The charts illustrate the proportion of consumptive household in Japan and Malaysia in 2010 gAKa1
The charts illustrate the proportion of consumptive household in Japan and Malaysia in 2010 As can be seen from the charts, Other goods and Services received the high porportion in two country, neverlesness Housing was the service getting the lowest interest from everyone. In 2010, Everyone was really careful other goods and services in Japn at 29% while Malaysia with the familiar just got 26%. Meanwhile, Housing contributed to 21% of the average household expenditures in Japan, while the enoumous figure for Malaysia was 34%. Aditionally, Japan and Malaysia with Transport were rates 20% and 10% respectively. On the other hand, Both countries undeveloped about Healthy care, Japan was 6% but Malaysia was only 3%. In contrast, Food absolutely essential attribute in each country when it on the top in Japan at 24% and it was litte better in Malaysia at 27%.
The charts illustrate the proportion of consumptive household in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia in 2010

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the charts, Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and Services received the high
Possible spelling mistake found.
porportion
in two country,
Possible spelling mistake found.
neverlesness
Housing was the service getting the lowest interest from everyone.

In 2010, Everyone was
really
careful other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Japn
at 29% while Malaysia with the familiar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
26%. Meanwhile, Housing contributed to 21% of the average household expenditures in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enoumous
figure for Malaysia was 34%.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aditionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia with Transport were rates 20% and 10%
respectively
.

On the other hand
, Both countries undeveloped about Healthy care,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was 6%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Malaysia was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3%.
In contrast
, Food
absolutely
essential attribute in each country when
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
on the top in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
at 24% and it was
Possible spelling mistake found.
litte
better in Malaysia at 27%.

IELTS academic The charts illustrate the proportion of consumptive household in Japan and Malaysia in 2010

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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