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The charts demonstrate the phases and materials used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to assemble concrete for building purposes.

The charts demonstrate the phases and materials used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to assemble concrete for building purposes. Overall, limestone and clay are the elements for the creating of the cement. Concrete is the assembling of the cement, water, sand, and gravel by the concrete mixer. Firstly, limestone and clay go into a crusher and become powder together. Then, the powder goes into the mixer. It then passes through a rotating heater for the adhesion of the powder. After that, a grinder grinds that product and transforms it into cement. Finally, the cement is packaged to deliver it where it is needed. Concrete’s ingredients are 15 percent cement, 10 percent water, 25 percent sand, and 50 percent small stones. A concrete mixer assembles all of the materials by spinning around and creates concrete. Concrete is used for building purposes, such as residencies, hospitals, and government buildings.
The charts demonstrate the phases and materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the cement-making process, and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to assemble concrete for building purposes.

Overall
, limestone and clay are the elements for the creating of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. Concrete is the assembling of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, water, sand, and gravel by the concrete mixer.

Firstly
, limestone and clay go into a crusher and become powder together. Then, the powder goes into the mixer. It then passes through a rotating heater for the adhesion of the powder. After that, a grinder grinds that product and transforms it into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is packaged
to deliver it where it
is needed
.

Concrete’s ingredients are 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
water, 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
sand, and 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones. A concrete mixer assembles
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
materials by spinning around and creates concrete. Concrete is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for building purposes, such as residencies, hospitals, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
buildings.

IELTS academic The charts demonstrate the phases and materials used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to assemble concrete for building purposes.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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