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he changes in the number of the income of four cafes in New York over last year

he changes in the number of the income of four cafes in New York over last year pLkjy
The line graph compares and contrasts data on the changes in the number of the income of four cafes in New York over last year Overall, a closer look at the bar chart highlights the fact that the figure for the income of the Internet Express, wi-fi cafe and cafe cool increased gradually while there was a significant decrease in the tea room. In January, the tea room had the highest income with 160000 dollar and the internet express was the second highest earning at 100000 dollar meanwhile the wi-fi café and cafe cool accounted for 50000 dollar and 30000 dollar respectively. In March, the amount of income in the tea room reached the peak at 180000 dollar. From September to December, the figure for the tea room decreased suddenly to 50000 dollar while the amount of wi-fi cafe increased sharply at 18000 dollar which was the highest figure in December. Besides, the café cool and internet express both rose significantly to 120000 dollar and 100000 dollar in the December respectively.
The line graph compares and contrasts data on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of four
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
in New York over last year

Overall
, a closer look at the bar chart highlights the fact that the figure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of the Internet Express,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wi-fi
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
cool increased
gradually
while there was a significant decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
room.

In January, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
room had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
with 160000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
and the internet express was the second highest earning at 100000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
meanwhile the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wi-fi
café and
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
cool accounted for 50000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
and 30000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
respectively
. In March, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
room reached the peak at 180000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
.

From September to December, the figure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
room decreased
suddenly
to 50000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
while the amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
wi-fi
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
increased
sharply
at 18000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
which was the highest figure in December.
Besides
, the café cool and internet express both rose
significantly
to 120000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
and 100000
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
in the December
respectively
.
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IELTS academic he changes in the number of the income of four cafes in New York over last year

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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