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The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. y6ME
The bar charts illustrate the number of UK graduates and postgraduates students’ destination excluding full-time work in 2008. Overall, it is noticeable that the majority of students prefer further study after leaving college. In addition, students also interested in part-time work and being unemployed. However, voluntary work has the least number of graduated and undergraduates students. Focusing on the graduates students, 29665 students are continue to further study for postgraduates, which is the most popular destination. In addition, many British who receive a degree do a part-time job and willing to be jobless (17735 students and 16235 students, respectively). On the contrary, only 3500 students choose to do volunteer work after finishing college. Turning to UK postgraduates, many learners have interest in further study and part-time job, which are 2725 students and 2535 students, respectively. Furthermore, 1625 students want to be unemployed after college life. However, the least destination for postgraduates students still be volunteering work.
The bar charts illustrate the number of UK graduates and
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postgraduates
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students’
destination excluding full-time
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work
in 2008.

Overall
, it is noticeable that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer
further
study after leaving college.
In addition
,
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students
also
interested in part-time
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work
and
being unemployed
.
However
, voluntary
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work
has the least number of graduated and undergraduates students.

Focusing on the graduates
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students
, 29665
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students
are
Consider using a past participle here: "continued".
continue
to
further
study for
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postgraduates
, which is the most popular destination.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
British who receive a degree do a part-time job and willing to be jobless (17735
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and 16235
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
respectively
).
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3500
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students
choose to do volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after finishing college.

Turning to UK
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postgraduates
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
learners have interest in
further
study and part-time job, which are 2725
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and 2535
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
respectively
.
Furthermore
, 1625
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students
want to
be unemployed
after college life.
However
, the least destination for
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postgraduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
still
be volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS academic The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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