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The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries

The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries lP8W
The two pie chart provide dispersal of global water and bar chart illustrates usage of aqua in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada in three district fields. Overall, all water is contained with the maximum of salt water compared to fresh water is occupied by ice and glaciers. The least percentage is surface water. In Agriculture field, the usage of water is more in two countries (respectively Egypt and Saudi Arabia) compared to Canada. There is significant difference among three countries where Canada have highest percentage of water usage in Industry fields than rest two countries. Firstly, All water is cover up of 97% of salt water and only 3% of fresh water. In continuation, 100% of fresh water is containing of ground water, surface water and ice and glaciers. Thus, 20% is ground water, 1% is surface water and 79% is ice and glaciers. On the flip side, nearly 80% of H2O is supply in Agriculture area in Egypt and almost 75% is used in Saudi Arabia. However, under 10% of water is availed in Canada. In contrast, water is being used for Industry purpose in Canada with a percentage of almost 80%. All three countries had distributed same percentage of aqua in Domestic area with all rates below 15%. .
The two pie chart provide dispersal of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and bar chart illustrates usage of aqua in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada in three district fields.

Overall
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is contained
with the maximum of salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
compared to fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is occupied
by ice and glaciers. The least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is surface
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. In Agriculture field, the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is more in two countries (
respectively
Egypt and Saudi Arabia) compared to Canada. There is significant difference among three countries where Canada have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage in Industry fields than rest two countries.

Firstly
, All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is cover up of 97% of salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. In continuation, 100% of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
The verb 'containing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is containing
of ground
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water
, surface
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and ice and glaciers.
Thus
, 20%
is ground
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water
, 1% is surface
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and 79% is ice and glaciers.

On the flip side,
nearly
80% of H2O is supply in Agriculture area in Egypt and almost 75% is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in Saudi Arabia.
However
, under 10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is availed
in Canada.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for Industry purpose in Canada with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of almost 80%. All three countries had distributed same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of aqua in Domestic area with all rates below 15%.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS academic The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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