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the charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. ww1q
The three pie charts describe the composition of three nutrients: sodium, saturated fat and add sugar in particular meals consumed in USA. Those three nutrients actually are unhealthy if consumed exceed. The composistion is measured by percentage. Overall, from the charts it can be seen that American dinner meal is contained the highest amount of sodium and saturated fat which is not good for healh. Whereas the sugar high intake mostly in snacks. Sodium, saturated fat and add sugar are nutrients that can bring higher risk to human healthy. From the charts, it can be seen that USA dinner menu contains the highest composition of sodium and saturated fat, which are 43% and 37% respectively. More over, in dinner menu, the add sugar intake rather high as well, which is 23%. The second intake of sodium and saturated fat are in American lunch menu. Whereas 29% and 26% respectively. The percentage of sugar in lunch is just 19% of total meal. The highest consumed of sugar is in the snack (42%). The snack also contain 21% of saturated fat, but has lowest composition of sodium which approximately 14%. Meanwhile, breakfast has the lowest percentage of this three nutrients which are sodium, saturated fat and sugar are 14%, 16% and 16% respectively. All in all, with regards to the composition of those three nutrients, it can be conclude that USA dinner meal has the most higher risk on health, however the breakfast is the healtiest one.
The three pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
composition
of three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
: sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in particular
meals consumed
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
. Those three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
actually are unhealthy if consumed exceed. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
composistion
is measured
by percentage.
Overall
, from the charts it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
meal
is contained
the highest amount of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
healh
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
high intake
mostly
in snacks.

Sodium,
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
that can bring higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to human healthy. From the charts, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
menu contains the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
composition
of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
, which are 43% and 37%
respectively
. More over, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
menu, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake
rather
high
as well
, which is 23%. The second intake of sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
are in American lunch menu. Whereas 29% and 26%
respectively
. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in lunch is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
19% of total meal.

The highest consumed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is in the snack (42%).
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
snack
also
contain 21% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
composition
of sodium which approximately 14%. Meanwhile, breakfast has the lowest percentage of this three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
which are sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
are 14%, 16% and 16%
respectively
.

All in all,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
composition
of those three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
, it can be
Consider using the past participle "concluded"?
conclude
that USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
meal has the
Use only "higher" (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
most higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
on health,
however
the breakfast is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
healtiest
one.

IELTS academic the charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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