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the number of part-time workers

the number of part-time workers Gmgj
The given bar chart illustrates the number of part-time workers in a different country of the UK in the period 1980-2010. In this four-country England, Wales, Scotland, Irland the number of workers are changing between 10-35 percentage. To begin with, the Irland and Scotland have the same level of workers, which grew not remarkable and piked maximum 20 percentage in 2010. To be more correct the Irland has moderate increasing, while Scotland went up double from 10 to 20 percent in the thirty years. The country with a high amount of part-time workers is Wales with nit significant change, it is climbing a 4 percentage to 35 in 2010. England composed not strong challenging only rose to 6 percentage from 1980 to 2010. Overall, the country with great change in Scotland with twice climbing. The part-time workers in Irland, England, and Wales provide unexpected change.
The
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given
bar chart illustrates the number of part-time
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workers
in a
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different
country of the UK in the period 1980-2010.

In this four-country England, Wales, Scotland,
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Irland
the number of
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workers
are changing between 10-35 percentage.

To
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begin
with, the
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Irland
and Scotland have the same level of
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workers
, which grew not remarkable and piked maximum 20 percentage in 2010. To be more correct the
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Irland
has moderate increasing, while Scotland went up double from 10 to 20 percent in the thirty years.

The country with a high amount of part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
is Wales with nit significant
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change
, it is climbing a 4 percentage to 35 in 2010. England composed not strong challenging
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only
rose to 6 percentage from 1980 to 2010.

Overall
, the country with great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in Scotland with twice climbing. The part-time
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workers
in
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Irland
, England, and Wales provide unexpected
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change
.

IELTS academic the number of part-time workers

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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