Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy.

The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Bk0j
The presented illustration of the pie charts provide information about outcomes of a survey that how people of two dissimilar age groups tell what makes them joyful. Overall, it can be clearly that, success at work, made people cheerful in both ages, compared to other factors of happiness. It is conspicuous that, the highest percentage says, that accomplishment at work brings them happiness, 32% for the older people and 31% for younger people. The second largest percentage is doing hobbies as well. And this figure is important for both groups. For example, the pie charts mention that, the percentage is reached to 22% for younger people and 24% for older people. On the contrary, having a good appearance makes younger people feel joyful. And, older people are interested in financial security and it brings them happiness, this reached to 20%. Travelling reached to 15% for people under 30, being with family is significant for older people as well, and this accounted to only 14%
The presented illustration of the pie charts provide information about outcomes of a survey that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of two dissimilar age groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them joyful.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
that, success at work, made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cheerful in both ages, compared to other factors of happiness.

It is conspicuous that, the highest percentage says, that accomplishment at work brings them happiness, 32% for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and 31% for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The second largest percentage is doing hobbies
as well
. And this figure is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for both groups.
For example
, the pie charts mention that, the percentage
is reached
to 22% for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and 24% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the contrary
, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
appearance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel joyful. And,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in financial security and it brings them happiness, this reached to 20%. Travelling reached to 15% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under 30, being with family is significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
, and this accounted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14%

IELTS academic The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy.