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The charts below show population statistics in two countries of the UK from 1700 to 2000

The charts below show population statistics in two countries of the UK from 1700 to 2000 m2yp1
The given charts give information about the development of population and compare birth and death rate between two seperate European countries over 300 years started from 1700. ’ Overall, the number of residents in England and Wales increased sharply throughout the period. On the second chart, the change in birth and death rate distributed unevenly It is clear that the amount of people living in United Kingdom had a quite humble population in 1700 about 5 millions but then went up dramatically and reached a peak in 2000 about 45 millions. Moving on the next chart, the birth rate totaled 30 per 1000 people in 1700 then rose considerably up to 40 per 1000 residents in 1800 but after that there was a noticeable fall down to 25/1000 people in 1900 and remained unchanged until 2000. On the other hand, the number of death rate reached 25 per 1000 humans in 1700 then jumped up to 30 in 1800 but shrunk down to approximately 9 per 1000 people in 2000.
The
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given
charts give information about the development of population and compare birth and death
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rate
between two
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperate
European countries over 300 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 1700. ’

Overall
, the number of residents in England and Wales increased
sharply
throughout the period. On the second chart, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in birth and death
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rate
distributed
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unevenly


It is
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clear
that the amount of
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people
living
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
had a quite humble population in 1700 about 5 millions
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but
then went up
dramatically
and reached a peak in 2000 about 45 millions.

Moving on the
next
chart, the birth
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rate
totaled 30 per 1000
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people
in 1700 then rose
considerably
up to 40 per 1000 residents in 1800
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that there was a noticeable fall down to 25/1000
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people
in 1900 and remained unchanged until 2000.
On the other hand
, the number of death
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rate
reached 25 per 1000 humans in 1700 then jumped up to 30 in 1800
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
shrunk down to approximately 9 per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2000.
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IELTS academic The charts below show population statistics in two countries of the UK from 1700 to 2000

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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