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The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-0/s206x206/116692123_720712581834440_5131348247163121926_n.png?_nc_cat=103&ccb=2&_nc_sid=58c789&_nc_eui2=AeG1SSTQZn_wQhwvwo1VSHDyj_CLZD4qXsqP8ItkPipeyti4PACAbfm50xwP9ZK6nN44p2plCD3StOWMAFzoBH-k&_nc_ohc=_xdh4pzh9rEAX99RXY0&_nc_ad=z-m&_nc_cid=0&_nc_ht=scontent.xx&_nc_tp=30&oh=5426d422f2f259842c877f9f6708c668&oe=601855D3 . Just write 75-150.

The pie charts below illustrate the expense of local government by 2010 and 2015. Overall, government expend the most money in education and healthcare sectors, while expenditure was used the least in other areas. Firstly, according to the pie charts, in 2010, government spent money on education and healthcare categories with almost half of the outlay. Likewise, in 2015, this areas were supported by similar money amount of last year, however, the percentage of expenditure decreased from (24% and 21%) to ( 21% and 20%) respectively. Secondly, pension sector reached at second most largest with 19% in both two years. With regard to others, defense area stood at with 17% in 2010, but it went up to 14% in 2015. In contrast, there was a steady increase in welfare and interest on borrowing categories from 8% to 13% and 5% to 10% individually. Lastly, Other areas got just below 5% of revenue in the period given.
The pie charts below illustrate the expense of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by 2010 and 2015.
Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expend the most money in education and healthcare sectors, while expenditure was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the least in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Firstly
, according to the pie charts, in 2010,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spent money on education and healthcare categories with almost half of the outlay.
Likewise
, in 2015,
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘areas’. Did you mean “these”?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
were supported
by similar money amount of last year,
however
, the percentage of expenditure decreased from (24% and 21%) to
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
21% and 20%)
respectively
.
Secondly
, pension sector reached at second
Use only “largest” (without ‘most’) when you use the superlative.
most largest
with 19% in both two years. With regard to others, defense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
stood at with 17% in 2010,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it went up to 14% in 2015.
In contrast
, there was a steady increase in welfare and interest on borrowing categories from 8% to 13% and 5% to 10%
individually
.
Lastly
, Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 5% of revenue in the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
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IELTS academic The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-0/s206x206/116692123_720712581834440_5131348247163121926_n.png?_nc_cat=103&ccb=2&_nc_sid=58c789&_nc_eui2=AeG1SSTQZn_wQhwvwo1VSHDyj_CLZD4qXsqP8ItkPipeyti4PACAbfm50xwP9ZK6nN44p2plCD3StOWMAFzoBH-k&_nc_ohc=_xdh4pzh9rEAX99RXY0&_nc_ad=z-m&_nc_cid=0&_nc_ht=scontent.xx&_nc_tp=30&oh=5426d422f2f259842c877f9f6708c668&oe=601855D3 . Just write 75-150.