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The bar chart above shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

The given bar chart depicts the comparison between the top ten nations, their production, and consumption of electricity in 2014. Overall, it has clearly seen that In china their electricity production it reaches a peak on the other hand Korea its touches at the lowest mark in consumption. To begin with, the proportion of china their electricity production is just above (5398), moreover the electricity consumption moderately change in (5322). Therefore In the united states there electricity production in (4099) or their consumption declined by (3866). Also In Russia, their electricity production and consumption remain the same. In contrast, In japan, their electricity production is (9362). furthermore, the consumption goes down in (856. 7). However, In India production is (871), and consumption decrease in (698. 8). In Canada and France, their electricity and consumption both are gradually ups and down. In Brazil also there has (530. 7) production and ( 455. 8) consumption. on that account, In Germany their production drop by (526. 6). Accordingly, consumption climbs up by (5. 82. 5). Lastly, In Korea Republic approximately in production (4851. 1) or consumption (449. 5)
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart depicts the comparison between the top ten nations, their
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production
, and
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consumption
of
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electricity
in 2014.
Overall
, it has
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that In
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
their
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electricity
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production
it reaches a peak
on the other hand
Korea its touches at the lowest mark in consumption.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the proportion of china their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above (5398),
moreover
the
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electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
moderately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in (5322).
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
In the
The proper noun “United States” needs to be capitalized.
united states
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
in (4099) or their
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consumption
declined by (3866).
Also
In Russia, their
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electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and
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consumption
remain the same.
In contrast
, In
This noun needs to be capitalized if you mean the country “Japan”.
japan
, their
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electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
is (9362).
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
furthermore
, the
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consumption
goes down in (856. 7).
However
, In India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
is (871), and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
decrease in (698. 8). In Canada and France, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
both are
gradually
ups and down. In Brazil
also
there has (530. 7)
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production
and
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
455. 8)
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consumption
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
that account, In Germany their
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production
drop by (526. 6).
Accordingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
climbs up by (5. 82. 5).
Lastly
, In Korea Republic approximately in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
(4851. 1) or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
(449. 5)
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IELTS academic The bar chart above shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
184 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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