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the charts below show how the average household budget was spent in two different years

the charts below show how the average household budget was spent in two different years 6dK9B
The pie chart represents the average domestic expenses for the years 1965 and 2015, respectively. The data illustrates, the maximum amount was allocated for food in the year 1965 and also a large portion of money was spent on housing for the same year. The food was also a major part which was contributed to. On the other hand, housing became the top priority for investment in the year 2015 The food was maximally contributed from the finances; being nearly a third of the total amount spent in the year 1965. On the contrary, less than half of it was fixed for the food in the year 2015. The healthcare was an ignored portion of the money used at home; making to 15% of the total finances. The transportation charges increased three folds by the year 2015, being 15% of the money utilized at home, as compared to the 5% in the year 1965. Comparatively, the finance fixed for the clothing decreased to less than a half by the year 2015.
The pie chart represents the average domestic expenses for the years 1965 and 2015,
respectively
.

The data illustrates, the maximum amount
was allocated
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1965 and
also
a large portion of money
was spent
on housing for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was
also
a major part which
was contributed
to.
On the other hand
, housing became the top priority for investment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2015

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was
maximally
contributed from the finances; being
nearly
a third of the total amount spent in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1965.
On the contrary
, less than half of it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2015. The healthcare was an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
portion of the money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at home; making to 15% of the total finances.

The transportation charges increased three folds by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2015, being 15% of the money utilized at home, as compared to the 5% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1965.
Comparatively
, the finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
for the clothing decreased to less than a half by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2015.
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IELTS academic the charts below show how the average household budget was spent in two different years

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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