Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The charts below show each grade level’s activity and the total revenue gained from it, by percentage, from King Primary School’s recent fundraising event.

The charts below show each grade level’s activity and the total revenue gained from it, by percentage, from King Primary School’s recent fundraising event. g53b7
The pie chart represents the percentage of fund raised and also all the grade levels activities. There are totally 1-6 grades with their respective pursuit, where 1st grade raised more funds, on the other hand third graders performed the least. Most of the revenue is generated from second graders, first graders and fifth graders. With that being the dance contest, cake decorating contest, cookie sale interested most of the people. Where as book sales made least impact and contributed only 7. 8% of the total revenue. Moreover art sale by fourth graders made an average amount of sales with a share of 13. 9% in the whole amount of funds raised. The sixth graders took a part of 15. 5 % from the funds raised by conducting a soccer skill contest. But the most contributed activities that are Dance contest by first graders which raised 23. 7%, cake decorating contest by 20. 9%. Lastly, the funds generated from those 3 activities made a impact on the total revenue.
The pie chart represents the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
and
also
all the grade levels activities. There are
totally
1-6 grades with their respective pursuit, where 1st grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
more funds,
on the other hand
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
third graders
performed the least.

Most of the revenue
is generated
from
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
second graders
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
first graders
and fifth graders. With that being the dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
, cake decorating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
, cookie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
interested most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
book
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
made
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
impact and contributed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7. 8% of the total revenue.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
by fourth graders made an average amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
with a share of 13. 9% in the whole amount of funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
. The sixth graders took a part of 15. 5 % from the funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
by conducting a soccer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the most contributed activities that are Dance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
by
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
first graders
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
23. 7%, cake decorating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contest
by 20. 9%.
Lastly
, the funds generated from those 3 activities made
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
impact on the total revenue.

IELTS academic The charts below show each grade level’s activity and the total revenue gained from it, by percentage, from King Primary School’s recent fundraising event.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The charts below show each grade level’s activity and the total revenue gained from it, by percentage, from King Primary School’s recent fundraising event.