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The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the year 1990,2000 and 2010.

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the year 1990, 2000 and 2010. dj8p
The given pie charts depicts the information about the various fields at the National University in three different years. It is clearly seen that, the equal Percentage of degrees, that is 30%were granted in Business and computer science in the initial year 1990. After ten years time period the proportion of businesses was double than year 1990, that is 60% in year 2000. In 1990, the percentage of medicine domain names was 25%and it was10% decline after 10 year. The degrees provide by National University was only 20% in the section of computer science in 2000. last but not least, law obtained 15%degrees in 1990 whereas, in 2000 it decreased 10%. Furthermore, in following 10 years there was lots of changes in the interest of degrees. The medicine department was provide 25%acedemic degrees in 2010. It was higher than 2000. The catagory of computer science awarded 45%degress in 2010. While that was only 20% in 2000. In the field of Businesses and law students acquired just 15%degrees in each sector. Overall, in the initial year most popular business became least popular in final year. However, computer science became more popular field, law and medicine department reached their original status after fluctuations.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts depicts the information about the various fields at the National University in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.

It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the equal Percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
,
that is
30%
were granted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1990. After ten years time period the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
was
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1990,
that is
60% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000. In 1990, the percentage of medicine domain names was 25%and it was10% decline after 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
provide by National University was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% in the section of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in 2000.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, law obtained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
15%degrees
in 1990 whereas, in 2000 it decreased 10%.

Furthermore
, in following 10 years there was lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
. The medicine department was
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
25%acedemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
in 2010. It was higher than 2000. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
catagory
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
awarded 45%degress in 2010.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% in 2000. In the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Businesses
and law students acquired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
15%degrees
in each sector.

Overall
, in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
became
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
popular in final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
However
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
became more popular field, law and medicine department reached their original status after fluctuations.
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IELTS academic The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the year 1990, 2000 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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