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the charts below information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland in 2010.

the charts below information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland in 2010. 6xxmG
The bar chart and two pie charts illustrate the information about the population of Glasgow having three different type of education ( University, School and those with have no qualifications) in 2010 in Scotland. Information is devided into different age groups in bar chart and by gender in pie charts. First, looking at the bar chart in more details, the majority of young people was their University degree while, this was 50% among 50 to 75 age groups. Interestingly, older people's university degree was the lowest compared to whole bar chart. However, people - who have no qualification- followed the exact riverse trend compare to university degree. Eventually, the percentage of men and women was one-third but sometimes it was slight ups and downs in the pie charts. Particularly, the ratio of women was lightly higher than that of men.
The bar
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chart
and two pie
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charts
illustrate the information about the population of Glasgow having three
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different
type of education
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(
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University
, School and those with have no qualifications) in 2010 in Scotland. Information is
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devided
into
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different
age groups in bar
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chart
and by gender in pie
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charts
.
First
, looking at the bar
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chart
in more
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details
, the majority of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was their
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University
degree while, this was 50% among 50 to 75 age groups.
Interestingly
, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree was the lowest compared to whole bar
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chart
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
who have no qualification- followed the exact
Possible spelling mistake found.
riverse
trend compare to
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university
degree.
Eventually
, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women was one-third
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it was slight ups and downs in the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
.
Particularly
, the ratio of women was
lightly
higher than that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
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IELTS academic the charts below information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland in 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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