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The charts and the pie show the number of students at university in a particular European country the government s annual spending on each student between 1984 and 2009 and the percentages of students economic family background

The charts and the pie show the number of students at university in a particular European country the government s annual spending on each student between 1984 and 2009 and the percentages of students economic family background e531G
The given column graph illustrates the portion of students who enrolled in university during given six years. The line graph depicts expenditure per student which is spent by government. The pie-chart represents the proportion of student`s family economical basis. Overall, it is manifest from the bar graph the students studied in university increased with given period. From line graph, government investment shows fluctuation trend. Family belong to high income had highest economic background. Initially, it is seen from the column chart students took admission in European university were maximum during 1999 with 30, 000, 2004 with 39, 000 and 2008 with 40, 000 students. In contrast, in 1984 the students were least than given years which was approximately 13, 000 students. It is glance from line graph, during 1984 the government spend 14, 000 dollars and in 2004 invested 10, 000$, which shows downward trend. After 2004 the administration spend high which rose at 12000 dollars. Looking at pie-chart, student`s economical background were low income family 26% and middle income family with 22%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
column
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
illustrates the portion of
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students
who enrolled in university during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
six years. The line
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graph
depicts expenditure per
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student
which
is spent
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
pie-chart represents the proportion of
The character between 'student' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "student’s" (curly apostrophe) or "student's" (straight apostrophe).
student`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
economical basis.

Overall
, it is manifest from the bar
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graph
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studied in university increased with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. From line
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graph
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
investment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
fluctuation trend.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
belong to high income had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
economic background.

Initially
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the column chart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
took admission in European university were maximum during 1999 with 30, 000, 2004 with 39, 000 and 2008 with 40, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In contrast
, in 1984 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were
Use "less", "lesser", "littler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
least
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years which was approximately 13, 000 students.

It is
Consider using a past participle here: "glanced".
glance
from line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, during 1984 the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spend 14, 000 dollars and in 2004 invested 10,
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$000".
000$
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
downward trend.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
2004 the administration spend high which rose at 12000 dollars. Looking at pie-chart,
The character between 'student' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "student’s" (curly apostrophe) or "student's" (straight apostrophe).
student`s
economical background were low income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
26% and middle income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
with 22%.
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IELTS academic The charts and the pie show the number of students at university in a particular European country the government s annual spending on each student between 1984 and 2009 and the percentages of students economic family background

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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