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the chart shows whatever it is supposed to show does this question thing even matter

the chart shows whatever it is supposed to show does this question thing even matter yNlRV
The given chart shows increasing use of electronic appliances has resulted in less time spend behind the household works in a certain country from 1920 to 2019 The first graph displays graduating amount of usage of three appliances. The usage of refrigerator took a peek from the year 1980 and continued being used to a 100% in all hoseholds. Meanwhile the usage of vacuum cleaner seems to be linearly increasing from 1920 to 1980 and is also used upto 100% by the year 2000. Surprisingly the washing machine that is used the highest upto 40% in the year 1920 is comparatively used less by 2019. The second graph shows how the appliances eased the household work from 50 hours a week to 10 hours from the year 1920 to 2019. To conclude the growing age of appliance has made household work easy and less time consuming than it used to be in the early years.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
has resulted in less time spend behind the household works in a certain country from 1920 to 2019

The
first
graph displays graduating amount of usage of three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
usage of refrigerator took a peek from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1980 and continued being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to a 100% in all
Possible spelling mistake found.
hoseholds
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the usage of vacuum cleaner seems to be
linearly
increasing from 1920 to 1980 and is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
100% by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000.
Surprisingly
the washing machine
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
40% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1920 is
comparatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
less by 2019.

The second graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
the household work from 50 hours a week to 10 hours from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1920 to 2019.

To conclude
the growing age of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliance
has made household work easy and less
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the early years.
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IELTS academic the chart shows whatever it is supposed to show does this question thing even matter

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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