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The chart shows three areas of difficulty people have when they move to another country and how these difficulties vary according to age.

The chart shows three areas of difficulty people have when they move to another country and how these difficulties vary according to age. OOQE
The chart describes the survey’s results of how people buy coffee and tea in five cities in Australia in last four weeks. Overall, in most of the cities observed, people prefer to go to cafe for coffee or tea. In addition, the least habit that people do in all five cities was to buy fresh coffee. Melbourne is a city where most of the people (64%) love to go to a cafe to have a cup of coffee or tea. The people who went to cafe in Melbourne in last 4 weeks also count for the biggest percentage among the other four cities observed. As much as 62% people of Hobart love to go to a cafe, made it into the second position after Melbourne. The third, four and five position were for Sydney, Brisbane, and Adelaide with the percentage of 61%, 55%, and 49% recpectively. In Brisbane, it was observed that only a small percentage of people love to buy fresh coffee (33%). Thus, it made this city as a place where the least people buying fresh coffee compared with all other 4 cities. As much as 33% of Adelaide people also have the habit of buying fresh coffee. Thus it made Adelaide the second least city where the people had this custom. The city of Hobart, Melbourne, and Sydney were at the upper level in accordance with this habit with the percentage of 38%, 42%, and 44% respectively. Eventhough there was difference in number of people that usually buy fresh coffee, this habis is the most unlikely habit that preferred by people in all the cities observed. From the chart we can also see that other habit that people usually do is buy instant coffee. It was observed that in all cities except Adelaide, this habit is the second popular custom practiced by residents. The most 54% residents that follow this custom is from the city of Hobart, followed by Brisbane by 53%. Adelaide is in the third place with 50% of citizens practising this habit. Melbourne and Sydney were in the lower percentage with 48% and 46% respectively.
The chart
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describes
the survey’s results of how
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people
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buy
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coffee
and tea in five
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cities
in Australia in last four weeks.
Overall
, in most of the
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cities
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observed
,
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people
prefer to go to
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
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coffee
or tea.
In addition
, the least
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habit
that
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people
do in all five
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cities
was to
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buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
coffee.

Melbourne is a city where most of the
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people
(64%)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
to have a cup of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea. The
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people
who went to
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
in Melbourne in last 4 weeks
also
count for the biggest
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percentage
among the other four
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cities
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observed
. As much as 62%
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people
of Hobart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
, made it into the second position after Melbourne. The third, four and five position were for Sydney, Brisbane, and Adelaide with the
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percentage
of 61%, 55%, and 49%
Possible spelling mistake found.
recpectively
.

In Brisbane, it was
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observed
that
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only
a
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small
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percentage
of
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people
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love
to
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buy
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fresh
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coffee
(33%).
Thus
, it made this city as a place where the least
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people
buying
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fresh
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coffee
compared with all other 4
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cities
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
much as 33% of Adelaide
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people
also
have the
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habit
of buying
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fresh
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coffee
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it made Adelaide the second least city where the
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people
had this custom. The city of Hobart, Melbourne, and Sydney were at the upper level in accordance with this
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habit
with the
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percentage
of 38%, 42%, and 44%
respectively
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
there was difference in number of
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people
that
usually
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buy
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fresh
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coffee
, this
Possible spelling mistake found.
habis
is the most unlikely
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habit
that preferred by
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people
in all the
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cities
observed.

From the chart we can
also
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see
that other
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habit
that
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people
usually
do is
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buy
instant
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coffee
. It was
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observed
that in all
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cities
except Adelaide, this
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habit
is the second popular custom practiced by residents. The most 54% residents that follow this custom is from the city of Hobart, followed by Brisbane by 53%. Adelaide is in the third place with 50% of citizens
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
this
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habit
. Melbourne and Sydney were in the lower
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percentage
with 48% and 46%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The chart shows three areas of difficulty people have when they move to another country and how these difficulties vary according to age.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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