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The chart shows three areas of difficulty people have when they move to another country and how these difficulties vary according to age.

The chart shows three areas of difficulty people have when they move to another country and how these difficulties vary according to age. 2L2X
Many people are eager to study or work abroad and for sure they will face a languange barrier problems. Some people say that there will be social and practical problems that triggered by language issues. I agree that living in a completely new environment with different language will have many consequences, both in social and practical matters. There are at least three examples of social issue that people will encounter while living in abroad. First of all, if you don’t know how to speak politely, people will treat you bad. In this way, you will get another problem from that problem. Secondly, you will have limited friends if you are not good in their languange. This is because people tend to enjoy speaking with friends who speak their language fluently. Third, you will be excluded from the society. If you don’t know how to speak politely and fluently, local people won’t make you a friend. That also will lead to a more serious problems. There are also some practical problems that will arise if you don’t speak the foreign languange fluently in the new country that you live in. Firstly, if you go to a traditional market and you should bargain for the foods’ price, you will be messed up. You will spend a lot of money from not be able to bargain. The next practical problem is when you are heading to somewhere and you should ask local people how to get there. Asking about direction is a complex problem if you don’t master the language. You will get lost for sure. The last one that I will mention is about being in an emergency situation. In this serious condition surely you should know how to communicate with the local to get some helps. Otherwise you won’t receive any help and it will lead to very serious issue for you. To sum up, there are social and practical difficulties that people will encounter if they don’t speak the local languange when they are in abroad. The social difficulties can be problem in speaking politely, having limited friends, and to be excluded in the society. The practical difficulties are problem when buying foods, asking for direction, as well as being in an emergency situation. I think before people decide to go to live in abroad, they should learn the foreign language first. In that way their chance to be survived in the new country is bigger.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eager to study or work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
and for sure they will face a
Possible spelling mistake found.
languange
barrier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that triggered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
issues. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that living in a completely new environment with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences, both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
matters.

There are at least three examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will encounter while living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if you don’t know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
politely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will treat you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. In this way, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Secondly
, you will have limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
if you are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
languange
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to enjoy speaking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
fluently
. Third, you will
be excluded
from the society. If you don’t know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
politely
and
fluently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. That
also
will lead to a more serious problems.

There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that will arise if you don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
the foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
languange
fluently
in the new country that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
Firstly
, if you go to a traditional market and you should bargain for the foods’ price, you will
be messed
up. You will spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money from not be able to bargain. The
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is when you are heading to somewhere and you should ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there. Asking about direction is a complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
if you don’t master the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. You will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost for sure. The last one that I will mention is about being in an emergency situation. In this serious condition
surely
you should know how to communicate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
you won’t receive any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and it will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious issue for you.

To sum up, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
difficulties that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will encounter if they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake found.
languange
when they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
difficulties can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in speaking
politely
, having limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, and to
be excluded
in the society. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
difficulties are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
when buying foods, asking for direction,
as well
as being in an emergency situation. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, they should learn the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
first
. In that way their chance to
be survived
in the new country is bigger.
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IELTS academic The chart shows three areas of difficulty people have when they move to another country and how these difficulties vary according to age.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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