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The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. XxyA
The chart illustrates the percentage of Jobseeker in the year 2012 in Australia. we can clearly see in the graph that there is more percentile of jobless people in rural areas compared to the urban areas. In the rural areas the first quarter of the year 2012, the percentage of jobseekers is more than 6% and in the second part, of the year is 4. 5%. and then increased in the third quarter up to 5. 5% and decreased to 5% in the fourth quarter and is constant throughout the end of the year. In urban areas, the first quarter of the year 2012 the percentage of jobseekers is more than 5% and in the second part, of the year is more than 3%. In the third quarter of the year, it is just above 2%. and at the end of the year, it increased rapidly up to 4. 9% Overall we can see in starting of the year 2012 the number of job seekers or more but at the end of the year, they decreased. whereas the jobseekers in urban areas in the first quarter is less than end of the year.
The chart illustrates the percentage of
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Jobseeker
in the
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year
2012 in Australia.
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we
can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the graph that there is more percentile of jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in rural
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areas
compared to the urban areas.

In the rural
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areas
the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012, the percentage of
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jobseekers
is more than 6% and in the second part, of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is 4. 5%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
then increased in the third
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quarter
up to 5. 5% and decreased to 5% in the fourth
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quarter
and is constant throughout the
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end
of the year.

In urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012 the percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
jobseekers
is more than 5% and in the second part, of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is more than 3%. In the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 2%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, it increased
rapidly
up to 4. 9%

Overall
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in starting of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012 the number of job seekers or more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, they decreased.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
jobseekers
in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
is less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS academic The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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